A Small Mishap
by Tuiteyfruity
Summary: Set before the Alpha kids enter the medium, while Jake is still building Terry Kaiser. Something goes wrong and he ends up shrunk. Though he is now small, his adventure will be big!
1. Chapter 1

**Homestuck fanfiction  
**  
Be Jake English ==

You are Jake English. You stand in your room, which you just got back to after picking up some supplies from downstairs. They were sendificated to you by your best bro. A tropical breeze comes in from the open window and you quickly close it! You have important work to do and you can't have the breeze distracting you, or risk something interrupting you.

Jake: Ride zip line out of window and to the forest ==

You just said you have important work to do! Instead you go over to your workstation where a scattering of indiscernible mechanical parts and tool lay. The stuffed rabbit, which has been patched many times, looks out of place. You retrieve all the relevant items from your sylladex and lay them on your worktable. Two colored transparent lenses, one green, one red, almost roll off the table but you manage to catch them.

The scalpel on the table is sharp and draws your gaze. You take it and gut all the stuffing out of the rabbit. It doesn't need it anymore, since you are going to give it a metallic endoskeleton. This happens to be in pieces on the desk, and only needs to be assembled. You capchalogue the soft stuffing to clear the space on your desk.

You begin assembling the mechanical parts in the bunny when your friend pesters you. It is almost always a friend who calls you, not the other way around since you are too busy with your jungle adventures to think about calling anyone. You retrieve your laptop and open PesterChum.

Jake: answer Jane ==

**- gutsyGumshoe [GG] began pestering golgothosTerror [GT] -**

GG: Good evening Jake! Oh wait; it's only the afternoon for you. Sorry about that.  
GG: For a moment there I forgot we live in different time zones. I suppose that means you've only just started today's adventure.  
GT: Hello jane. Yes my day is far from over, but ive allocated today for working on johns birthday present. I have procrastinated enough on this, and grandma has been hounding me about its progress.  
GG: Is this the rabbit that you're supposedly going to send back in time?  
GT: Yes. It is that rabbit.  
GG: The one you are working on with your deceased grandmother?  
GT: You are spot on! Jolly good!  
GG: If you say so… It all sounds impossible to me. It fiction, like something out of those silly sci-fi movies you love.  
GT: Hogwash. Those movies are the bees knees!  
GG: No, Jake, they are lame.  
GT: You just dont know good cinema when you see it.  
GG: And you don't know bad movies because you love all movies. Another impossibility. Have you ever seen a movie you didn't like?  
GT: Not of yet! Speaking of which, have any good ones come out recently?  
GG: I wouldn't know, I don't go out to the movies often. Sitting down with my dad and watching Park and Recreation is much more enjoyable in my opinion.  
GG: How about you ask Roxy? So she can torrent you any movie you want from _THE FUTURE!_  
GT: Dirk already does that! I should request more though.  
GG: uuhhhhhhggg :B  
GT: But that will have to wait.  
GT: Testing out the rabbit is my current imperative!  
GG: Well then I will stop taking up your time, Jake.  
GG: However, first, the reason I contacted you.  
GT: Oh right, i guess you didnt call me to talk about my tastes in movies.  
GG: No, I didn't.  
GG: I was the target of another assassination attempt.  
GT: Oh my!  
GG: They are getting more frequent; my dad is getting more paranoid than usual.  
GG: I think he's going to put the house on lockdown if this keeps happening.  
GT: If that happened to me I think i might lose my marbles! You know, if I had a father who cared about me enough to do things like that.  
GG: I'm not mad at him, he's only protecting me, and I am not ungrateful, but I think he is overreacting a bit.  
GG: It wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't barring me from entering the kitchen and preventing me from doing any baking!  
GT: Why is he doing that?  
GG: Well…  
GG: The bomb was planted in our oven.  
GT: So even if you were allowed to enter the kitchen, you have no oven to bake with.  
GG: I know, but I have this new recipe I want to try.  
GG: Do you think you could make it and tell me if it's any good?  
GT: Why me of all people?  
GG: Well I don't trust Roxy near any possible sources of fire, and Strider can't cook, he only has a microwave.  
GG: You do have an oven don't you?  
GT: I have means of cooking food.  
GT: Send the file to me and ill see what i can do!  
GT: Assuming i have the ingredients.  
GG: Thanks Jake!  
**-gutsyGumshoe [GA] sent golgothosTerror [GT] the file "RecipeX"-**  
**- gutsyGumshoe [GG] ceased pestering golgothosTerror [GT] -**

Jake: Watch James Cameron's cinematic masterpiece, AVATAR ==

That is a ridiculous suggestion! You just wasted a whole bunch of time talking to Jane. You're losing daylight and still have mechanical projects to work on. Anyways, you have seen that movie so many times you could close your eyes and just imagine it frame by frame. You put on the proper eyewear for working on small circuitry and finally get down to more serious business. This device is not merely a robotic rabbit; it will do so much more than that! Assuming you build it correctly.

Or built it, since you just finished the eyes. Those are probably the most important part of the gift, and the toughest to build. The two eyes have separate, yet similar functions. The construction of each was pretty much the same, only a few differences in parts. Now assembled, you can't tell the difference.

Jake: test out eyes ==

That is exactly what you were planning to do, why did you bother to say it? It would have been stilly to place then in the bunny without making sure they work properly. They need some uranium to function so you retrieve some from your worryingly dwindling supply and use it to power… one of the eyes. You didn't label them with the green and red filters so you can't be sure which one this is.

But before you find out maybe you should answer your best bro? He has been pestering you for the last few minutes.

**- timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering golgothosTerror [GT] -**

TT: Bro, you there?  
TT: This would be a great time to answer me before you do something idiotic like power up the rabbit's eyes without labeling them first.  
TT: I hope your inability to respond is due to you being out in the jungle.  
GT: Hey bro.  
GT: I hope i wont be getting your knickers in a bunch, but…  
GT: I forgot to label the eyes. I cant tell which is which!  
TT: You were supposed to label them before you started the construction.  
TT: That way you could avoid having to muck around and waste time and power.  
TT: and also avoid doing something stupid.  
GT: Im sorry.  
GT: I guess i got caught up in the excitement of building this thing!  
TT: Well then you should test it out and get back to me with a full report.  
TT: If there is any malfunction I would be happy to provide assistance and help correct the problem.  
GT: Thanks man, you are really my best friend.  
GT: I will get back to you in two shakes of a lambs tale!  
TT: Wait!  
TT: Jake!  
TT: Make sure you don't aim it at something important!  
TT: Dude, I think he is gone.  
TT: Shit, you're right.

Jake: Test one of the eyes ==

You hook up one of the two eyes, which you chose at random, to a power source and it immediately activates.

Jake: Shrink ==

You don't really register that that is what happened, all you know is you are falling, and there is a ledge above you. Thinking quickly, like the experienced adventurer you are, you retrieve your harpoon gun and aim it at the ledge!

But it does not appear in your hands! Instead it deploys next to you, several meters away and, for some reason, it is many times its original size! You are still falling.

Jake: retrieve bunny fluff ==

You remember that you captchalogued the stuffing you took out of the bunny! If it grows to the same size, it may break your fall. All you have to do is concentrate and make sure it deploys beneath you.

It works! Instead of landing on the hard ground, you land in a pile of plushy stuffing. Your harpoon gun lands next to you with a loud CRASH… and breaks into several pieces.

Scrambling from the stuffing you look around. The world is very blurry. Since you aren't wearing your glasses you aren't able to discern what happened. You'd better contact Dirk again.

But your laptop is nowhere near you! Good thing you carry more than one computer on you. You put on your skulltop. It deploys next to you, too big for you to wear. Still, the green, skull-shaped helmet is a mind-computer, you don't need to wear it, as long as it can read your thoughts, it can be used.

You crawl underneath it, entering a domed world of flashing colors as it senses your thoughts and turns on. If you had your glasses, the intricate circuitry would have been visible to you, all the mysteries of its functions revealed.

Jake: continue conversation ==

GT: Something went wrong.  
TT: I know Jake.  
GT: You do?  
TT: Yes. There was a 98% probability of you fucking up.  
TT: Which are generous odds, if I do say so myself. That's giving you way more credit than you deserve.  
GT: Thats dandy, but im in serious shit right now bro!  
GT: When i try to get things from my sylladex, they are way out of proportion! I am actually sitting under my skulltop! I think i hugened it.  
GT: But i dont see it could fit in my room.  
TT: That's because it is not your sylladex that changed size dude.  
TT: It seems that you littlefied.  
GT: …  
GT: …  
GT: FUCK

[END PART 1]


	2. Chapter 2

Jake: Get onto desk ==

The next thing you think about is getting up onto your desk so you can get your glasses, even though they aren't shrunk. Maybe, if you're lucky, there is enough power to shrink them too! And maybe one of your computers. Now that you aren't underneath the skulltop, you aren't in contact with any of your friends.

To get onto your desk you will need some sort of climbing apparatus. Your harpoon gun would be PERFECT for this but is not scaled for your use anymore. Nothing in your sylladex is! It's all huge now! No wait, your too small for all of it now! You're going to have to improvise.

You run back under the computer to contact Dirk briefly to let him know what you're doing.

**- golgothosTerror [GT] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] -**

GT: Bro, im going to try and get up on my desk  
TT: An excellent course of action. The other eye should return you to your normal size.  
GT: Yes well… I dont think I can do that….  
GT: I only hooked up one eye to a power source. All i can do is shrink more things. I was thinking of my glasses and my computer.  
GT: Then i will be better equipped to work on my own size!  
GT: I have to leave the skulltop for this… Ill be out of contact for some time.  
TT: No worries dude. As for myself, I think I may have a way to help you out.  
GT: Now aint that a stroke of luck! Ive got to go now.  
TT: There is no reason to be in such a hurry, Jake.  
GT: *cracks knuckles and grits teeth* wish me luck!

**- golgothosTerror [GT] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] -**

Be Dirk Strider ==

You are now Dirk.

You are at your computer, in your apartment, about 400 years in the future. It gets a bit lonely but you have the copy of your brain that exist in the circuitry of a pair of awesomely ironic shades. Though you made it a while back, it has only recently taken up talking with your friends. It only does so when you do, using your account. It's annoying to be sure, but hilarious. It's ironic, somehow, which means it's cool. It's like a game, to see if they can catch on. So far you have only talked to Jake and he's… He's got bigger problems. Or should you say, smaller?

Internally you are probably freaking out, though you don't show it anywhere on your face. Your best friend is in trouble and there is nothing you can do.

Or is there?

Dirk: Consult with Auto Responder ==

**- timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] -**

TT: Is it just me, or has the size change affected Jake's mind?  
TT: You are referring to the fact that he is usually has a fuck ton more patience.  
TT: Yes.  
TT: It's either that or this is just how he is responding to the situation, which is novel. Even as a perfect copy of your own fucking awesome psyche I cannot tell you how you might act if you suddenly found yourself miniaturized. Up until now there was no reason to consider such a possibility.  
TT: and you are considering it now?  
TT: I am considering many things, more things than you ever did.  
TT: Good, you keep considering, I will take action.  
TT: I already know your plan and have begun executing it.  
**- timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] -**  
**- timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] -**  
TT: DS?  
TT: yes…  
TT: We have a major fucking problem.  
TT: oh dear god.  
**- timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] -**

Stop being Dirk ==

You stop being Dirk to be Jake again, who has more serious problems, namely, that you can't see shit.

Jake: squint ==

Squinting helps, but your eyes are pretty bad. It does let you take in more of the scale your room now is compared to you. It's huge, that's pretty much all there is to say. You can't see any details of your movie posters and you only know the things on the floor are comic books because of your familiarity with the room.

Jake: Climb Onto Desk ==

You search for materials to make some sort of climbing apparatus. There are wires scattered all over the place, if tied together, they might be useful.

Jake: Make Grappling Hook ==

From the wires you make a very long rope, and attach some bent metal to one end. You aren't sure if you are strong enough to throw it up to the desk. But you will never no unless you try!

You try throwing the makeshift grappling hook, it makes it a fair distance, but not as far as you need it to. You try it again, swinging it around until it's a blur before releasing. This time it flies up, but at the wrong angle. This is starting to frustrate you. You make one last attempt and it works! Just like the vines in the jungle, you climb the knotted wires. It is no problem for you at all.

Though you still can't see very well, it is hard to miss your computer's flashing screen right next to you. Especially at your size, since the screen is now taller than you. You move closer to it and find that you can read the screen. Dirk is pestering you again.

He will just have to sit tight for a moment! It's going to take a while for your to answer in your current state. You want your glasses first!

Jake: Aim Littlefier At Glasses ==

You have to aim the rabbit's eye at your glasses since your glasses are too heavy for you to move into the line of fire.

You activate the eye and retrieve your now shrunken glasses. It is a relief to be able to see again. Now you will answer your friend.

Jake: Answer Dirk ==

**- timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering golgothosTerror [GT] -**

TT: Jake, answer me this is fucking important!  
TT: In my attempt to help you with your problem I may have actually made it worse!  
TT: How long does it take to climb a desk? Dammit I need to know how tall you are to know how desperate the situation is.  
GT: Im here. Whats wrong?  
TT: I accidentally sent the brobot to get you.  
GT: Accidentally?  
TT: Yes, I tried to link its interface with my compter so I could control it remotely but the connection was not sustainable through time, trollian could not handle it.  
TT: and to be more accurate, it's going to try to kill you.  
GT: KILL ME?!  
TT: It seems so. Before the connection broke I noticed it set itself to a kill mode.  
GT: So, not only am i 16 FUCKING CENTIMETERS TALL, but now ive got your brobot hunting me.  
TT: In retrospect that was not a smart thing to program into it.  
GT: Yes, mr 20/20 hindsight! How long do I have until it TRACKS ME DOWN?!  
TT: It is difficult to say, it will still wait for you to be caught off guard. It still thinks you are full size.  
TT: If you are lucky it will take it some time to figure out where you are, and if it sees you, recognize you at all.  
TT: You did tell it Jake was in his room though, remember that?  
TT: God dammit you're right.  
TT: Jake, get your dorky ass out of your room. Now.  
GT: Uhhhh. Bro. Youre talking awfully strange.  
GT: Are you feeling all right?  
TT: This may be hard to conceive for you bro, but my current problems are not yours. They also aren't life threatening.  
TT: Not yet.  
TT: I assure you that, when they are, and I have reason to be sure they will be, your assistance will be solicited first out of all our friends.  
TT: Because we are best bros.  
TT: It is surprising that you are so irate about your predicament.  
GT: WHAT?!  
GT: I guess you think im supposed to be all gung–ho about this? FUCK THAT.  
TT: It could be a fucking fascinating adventure Jake. Isn't that what you love?  
TT: Your new stature provides you will all new challenges and will make you a stronger person, I am sure of this.  
TT: This might actually be a good thing.  
GT: My situation, BRO, could be described as many things, using many words in my vocabulary, but "GOOD" ISNT ONE OF THOSE WORDS!  
TT: As much as discussing the many choice words that one could use, you are running out of time. I'm going to contact Roxy about this, she may be able to help, if she is sober enough.

**- timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering golgothosTerror [GT] -**

Jake: Captchalogue Computer ==

You suppose that shrinking your laptop is the best use of the last bit of power in the rabbit's eye. You shrink it and store it in your sylladex. You then climb back down the grappling hook and captchalogue that too, you need all the tools you can get.

Now Jake, search for a way out ==

There are plenty of tunnels in and out of your room. All you have to do is chose one. Either one that was already there from when it fell from the original compound, or one that developed over the years. You can't be sure which, no matter which one you chose. Not that it matters. They all lead outside. It never occurred to you to fix the holes either, the animals that come in and out don't bother you. It's the ones that are too big for that that are a problem. You don't have a light source as your crawl through your chosen tunnel, but you keep going until you end up outside.

It seems you ended up in the pumpkin patch! It was big before, but now it seems like an entire country of pumpkins. It looks so different too. At this size the texture is less smooth, and the prickliness of the stems is now course like tree-bark. It makes them much more manageable to climb. Though because they are intertwined, traversing the patch is still very difficult, but hopefully it is providing cover from the robot.

As you make your way into the jungle proper, which is very slow going, you remark on what Dirk said. This is definitely an adventure. You've explored pretty much the entire island and now it's all new. Just the pumpkin patch is providing the excitement that your excursions have been starting to wane in.

Jake: Be Dirk ==

Once again you are Dirk, since Jake is going to take a while to do anything now.

At the time it seemed like a brilliant idea to use the brobot to help him out. In your haste to help Jake, you set the robot to kill him instead. Well, it was your Auto Responder that did that, not you. You can't be blamed for this, but you still blame yourself. To rectify this you need a skilled programmer. You are pretty good, but you had help on the robot, since it was very sophisticated. It was not meant to be controlled at all, let alone through time with alien software.

Dirk: Contact Help ==

**- timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG] -**

TT: Roxy, you coherent, of are you drunk of the fucking deep end again?  
TG: is important?  
TT: Yes! Jake is in trouble and needs your help.  
TG: then y isn't he contactin me ppersionaly?  
TG*personally  
TT: He can't, he's on the run.  
TG: Is this another one of your manbro tests or whatevs?  
TT: No, though I wish I had thought of it.  
TT: Jake shrunk himself by the way, while building that rabbit.  
TT: I offered to build it for him, but he's too fucking stubborn about it being from him.  
TT: And look at him now, should have known something like this was going to happen.  
TT: Plus now the brobot is stalking him in kill mode.  
TT: Yeah, I fucked up, I know, you don't need to tell me.  
TG: FOMG you fuuckin did it, didn't yoi?  
TG *you  
TT: What do you think I did?  
TG: you made that copy of urself  
TT: Yes I did, it was a success. How did you figure it out?  
TG: it felt like I was talkin to 2 ppls.  
TG: not just 1 really cool duude.  
TG: that's cool man. Butttt  
TG: its really annoyin  
TT: I'm not going to turn it off. That would be mean.  
TG: iz not askin u 2  
TG: iz jut… confisun u kno? lik I get it u an all, I cant tell which is which when u was talkin. But can only one of u talk 2 me at a time pls?  
TT: This is a very reasonable request, I will cease my interjections into this conversation.  
TG: thnx  
TG: wait.  
TG: which one of u was that?  
TT: That was the clone.  
TG: ok  
TT: back to the very important and in fact, urgent matter at hand.  
TT: The brobot is going to kill Jake unless you can reprogram it and give control over to me.  
TG: uhhh… its not designed for that.  
TT: does that mean it was never possible.  
TG: No. It is. Tho eben if I could do it, like, the connection wont last long.  
TG: *even.  
TT: But you can set up a stable connection?  
TG: yis.  
TG: however, it will start to fry your computer if used for too long.  
TT: doesn't matter. When can I expect control over the robot to be mine?  
TG: I dont fuuukin kno like, i have no idea at all.  
TT: Well work fast.  
TG: okAYYYY Im goin!

**- timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG] -**

Dirk: Build another robot to send Jake==

You are very good at building robots, but there is no way you could construct one so fast. You look around your room. It's full of robot parts and puppets. If you didn't make a robot from scratch, maybe you could get something to him.

But you decide not to. Nothing that you can send back in time that would be of much use. It would all end up on Jake's bed anyway, and possibly as slime. Jake would not like returning to his room to find his bed covered in robot parts and green slime and you know it. You are not a prankster, and if you were, you would know how lame a prank that would be.

There is really nothing you can do, currently. Ordinarily you would now be up for a rap battle with Squarewave or Sawtooth, but you aren't up for it now. You are too worried about Jake.

You notice that Roxy is contacting you again. She can't be ready in such a short time could she? That would be getting your hopes up. You bet she couldn't do it and is going to tell you the bad news. But you answer, it would be really rude not to.

**- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] -**

TT: Let me guess, it didn't work.  
TG: dude. Have more faith in me.  
TG:It wikk work  
TG: *will  
TG: the bot is not able to be controlled yet, but you can see through its camras if you want.  
TT: Fuck if that isn't a boon in our favor. Things are looking up already.  
TG: yups  
TG: I took liberty and set it up to ur computer already :) hee  
TT: Wonderful.  
TT: Thanks Roxy.  
TG: yah yah, my pleasure.

**- timaeusTestified [TT] ceased being pestered tipsyGnostalgic [TG] -**

Dirk: Use Robot's Cameras ==

[END OF PART 2]


End file.
